Posts Tagged ‘Chris Cooley’

The Ram Hunt of 2008 Revisited

Today Clinton Portis tweeted Chris Cooley the following message:

I remembered the video immediately, and how it was awesome on so many different levels. Watching it now it seems like it was yesterday, but so long ago at the same time. It’s been a half decade ago and Cooley and Portis have retired, well only Clinton officially. The Cooley Zone was one of the very best sports blogs on the Internet and I was both proud and lucky enough to be apart of it.

The Cooley Zone had some great posts that still hold up to this day, and if you search the site you’ll find pure blogging gold. Here’s a link to the highlights of 2008. Of course the only problem with blogging as an active athlete is how disgruntled fans and media can spin a video like this. If the Redskins win it’s laughs all around…if they lost then it was because Cooley & Portis don’t take their profession serious enough. I can promise you this, I’ve watched the Redskins for 30+ years and no players gave as much on the field as these two guys.

Thanks fellas for the memories on the field and for this 2 minute video, which is the best 2 minutes you’ll spend on the Internet (not including PornHub) today.

Cheers and Hail

ps. I miss your musk Vladimir

Send Chris Cooley Beer

Not sure the Octoberfest is going to make it to you buddy...

Chris Cooley has re-signed with the Washington Redskins, answering the prayers of thousands of fans and making Chris happy as well. While Chris had the chance to sign with several other NFL teams (yes, that’s a fact) he stayed loyal to the only team he’s ever and probably will ever play for. Something virtually unheard of in this day in age. However, the Redskins failed to award Cooley with a signing bonus on the veteran’s minimum contract he signed. What bonus was Chris seeking?

“Literally, I have text correspondence trying to negotiate a case of beer into my contract. They wouldn’t do it. I wanted it in writing so much.”

So if the Redskins won’t do it, why don’t the fans? Chris Cooley wants a case of beer, if you’re over 21 you can buy a case of beer. They have people that will deliver this beer to Redskins Park. What better way is there to welcome back your favorite player than to send him a case of beer? What better way is there to thank one of the greatest players in Redskins history for remaining loyal is there than to send him a case of beer? It’s what he wants and he likes beer…make him happy Redskins Nation.

I would love to see Redskins Park full of FedEx trucks, UPS trucks and Beer trucks dropping off cases of beer. Let’s start a movement here. #sendcooleybeer

You can mail the beer to

Washington Redskins
c/o Chris Cooley
21300 Redskin Park Dr.
Ashburn, VA 20147-6100

Click here for a link to Total Wine in Sterling, VA. They ship beer.

Cheers and Hail

10 For 80: Danny’s Doing It Wrong Again

In honor of the Redskins 80th Anniversary season the Redskins recently announced their “10 For 80” fan vote. “10 For 80” is a fan vote to decide the 10 Redskins players to be added to the list of the “70 Greatest Redskins” team that was chosen 10 years ago. As a fan of the Redskins for 30+ years I was excited to choose my picks that will forever be engraved in Redskins history. To my amazing disappointment, the 2 players that deserve to be on this team the most aren’t even eligible under Dan Snyder’s asinine rules.

Chris Cooley and Santana Moss are no-brainers to be included on the “80 Greatest Redskins” roster…yet you can’t vote for them. Here’s the stupid rule for the criteria for being eligible for the 80 which eliminates them from consideration:

Active NFL players are eligible, but any current team member must have spent at least 10 years with the team to be eligible

So, if you’re a former player you’re eligible if you only played 3 seasons for the Redskins but if you’re a current player for the Redskins you have to have played 10+ seasons? What kind of sense does that make? Both Cooley and Moss are possible training camp cuts. It would look horrible from a PR standpoint to have cut a player that the fans just chose as one of the greatest players in franchise history, could this have anything everything to do with this rule? And, if they had been cut back in March they’d be eligible but because they’re still busting their asses for the burgundy and gold they are ineligible? STUPID

And why bring players back into the equation that were already eligible for the “70 Greatest” roster? They were already passed over once…we have to choose from “sloppy seconds” instead of guys who deserve to be on this roster?

Here are some facts:

39 of the original 70 Greatest Redskins played less than 10 seasons for the Skins. Obviously, the 10 season barrier means nothing.

The other 2 TE’s on the ballot (Clint Didier & Rick Walker) have a combined 164 receptions vs. Cooley’s 428.

Moss & Cooley rank 7th & 9th all-time in career receiving TD’s in Redskins history yet we can’t vote for them.

For me, it’s clear that this “rule” should be changed immediately so that these 2 players can be where the belong, on the roster of the “80 Greatest Redskins”

Cheers and Hail

The Cowboys Eat Dick

It doesn’t seem like Dallas week…and the rivalry certainly seems to have lost it’s luster. Maybe its the fact that neither team has been particularly good for nearly 2 decades. Maybe it’s a different era, an era when some of these players are friends and work out together during the off-season. Maybe the current players just don’t get it, they don’t get the fact that diehard Redskins fans HATE Dallas.

One player does get it and he’s done his best to stoke this rivalry. He’s had some of his best games of his career against the Cowboys. I wish Chris Cooley was healthy and on the field on Sunday, cuz he gets it. He’s on record as “hating” the Cowboys. I hope everyone can join me and start it trending on Twitter #cowboyseatdick.

It’s Dallas week people, let’s act like it!

Cheers and Hail

Cooley Shows Off His Finger On Fox5

Chris Cooleyshowed Fox5 news more than just his broken finger this morning during a live interview from his home. Unbeknownst to the Fox5 cameras it appears Cooley has a cartoon penis on his splint…of course he does.
The penis pops up around the 30 sec mark.

Washington Redskins Chris Cooley and the Sports Junkies Talk About the Game: MyFoxDC.com

Cheers and Hail

Throwback Tuesday: This Is Kind Of Cooley

Every Tuesday Fatpickled will stroll down memory lane and re-post a blog from the past. This post originally debuted Nov 16, 2008.

During the Redskins bye week I flew up to my old stomping grounds in Northern VA. Over a couple of beers at the Ashburn Pub, I interviewed Chris Cooley. OK… the interview didn’t exactly go down that way, Chris answered my questions thru a series of emails. The beer will come at a later date when I show Chris and Tanner who the real king of bar Olympics is. Here is my exclusive with CC.

FP: They’re filming a major motion picture “The Chris Cooley Story”, which actors play these roles?
CC: Chris- I was Ogre from Revenge of the Nerds for Halloween, so probably that guy.
Tanner- Probably have to say….Omar Epps
Christy- We would make Jessica Alba dye her hair and she could play Christy
Zorn- Steve Largent
Dan Snyder- Tom Cruise

FP: Who would you say that you are more like, Harry or Lloyd? Why?
CC: Obviously I am more like Harry, just look at us.

FP: Have you or a teammate ever been laid on the 50 yd line @ FedEx field?
CC: I can’t speak for anyone else on the team, but I have never done such a thing at FedEx.

FP: Do you have any superstitions that you do on game days?
CC: I don’t really have any superstitions but I still get stupid pre-game jitters. This is like the 15th game this year of being nervous. It’s probably awesome for my health.

FP: Ben Roethlisburger is upset that Redskin’s cheerleaders stretch in front of the visiting teams locker room. What kind of stuff do other teams pull when you are at their stadium?
CC: In Dallas they turn off the AC in our locker room so its always about 90 degrees in there when we’re getting ready.

FP: Are you any good @ bar Olympics? (foosball, darts, pool etc?)
CC: I am amazing at bar Olympics. I have a dart board, pool table, air hockey, and ping pong in my basement. Unstoppable.

FP: I want to wear a cup when I’m playing wiffleball with my 3 year old, why don’t NFL players wear cups? You got helmets, elbows and knees flying around your junk.
CC: Its just not comfortable to run in a cup. I have never taken a big shot down there in all of high school, college, or the NFL. So why start now?

FP: What is your biggest fear?
CC: I’m not really afraid of anything. I don’t like super natural things.

FP: When you and Tanner came up with the idea for the blog, did you imagine that it would be this popular? (1.7 million hits in 8 months).
CC: When we started this we didn’t have any goals or expectations. We just did it to have fun and that’s what we’ve been doing ever since.

FP: My blog is getting 20-30 hits per day, compared to your 20,000 per, would you consider posting a picture of your right nut on my blog for a couple hours?
CC: Take a picture of your own nut and see the boost it gets. If your still at 20-30 after that….

FP: You are in a Fantasy Football League with other Skins players who don’t know a damn thing about Fantasy Football. Are you playing in any other leagues that are more competitive?
CC: I’m too busy to keep up on more than one league right now. I wish I had time cause I love fantasy sports but I just don’t.

FP: This is a long standing debate in our household, Aerosmith or Van Halen?
CC: Both awesome…Van Halen (yeah!)

FP: You’re an avid collector of sports cards, what is the one card in your collection that you could never part with?
CC: I have a John Elway rookie that I’ve had since I was ten. Its still in the screw down case that I got the day I bought the card for 4 dollars. That’s one you won’t see on Ebay.

FP: What does it say on your tombstone?
CC: Nothing special man. What ever my kids want to throw on there will probably be cool.

FP: Describe what the Dallas/Redskins rivalry means to you. Did Gibbs and Buges do a great job of instilling the history of this rivalry into the players?
CC: All of the NFC East opponents are tough. But for some reason I hate Dallas more than any other team in the NFL. Gibbs and Bugle are great coaches but they didn’t have to do any work making this more of a rivalry. It is just one of those natural things.

I want to thank Chris for taking the time to answer a bunch of stupid questions from a random fan who follows his blog (nice way of saying “borderline stalker”). I also want to thank Tanner Cooley, whom I’ve never met, yet always goes above and beyond for me. Thank you both, you guys are “BADASS”.

Cheers and Hail