Posts Tagged ‘bacon’

Porkboy: Pork Knows Best


I know, I know, you’ve all been waiting to hear my opinion on the Jay Cutler dust up. Well I decided to wait until this became a proper boil. It’s now a proper boil. I love a young punk who won’t even return the owners calls… but the young punk is right. All Josh McDaniels had to do was say ” sorry I made a play for my guy, but now it’s me and you for the next decade.” LIE A LITTLE !!! As a coach you are a people manager, do and say what it takes to get the most out of your people. That’s your job young Josh…. all Cutler needed to hear was “you’re my man, this trade stuff is over.”

Young Josh just couldn’t do that, his ego was take it or leave it. I expect Cutler to be a spoiled brat, he’s a young NFL QB, it’s is all he knows. As a coach you have to rise above it, spank those that need spanked and stroke those that need stroked.
All Cutler said he wanted was a commitment, that is all any of us want.
Whats even funnier was that after Mcdaniels told Cutler that “I can’t promise you it wont happen again,” he then made the statement that Jay needs to be fully committed to the Broncos!

I’m not saying Cutler is the greatest QB around, but in a league where half the teams don’t have a quality starter you can’t just throw one away. People love to talk about his record as a starter, but he’s 16 -1 in games where he starts and the defense allows 22 points or less. It’s the defense that has let the Broncos down the last couple of years…. and take a look at the RB situation he had last year.
Sometimes things just need the smell test… do you think Matt Cassel is better than Cutler? Or worth more money? If you answered like I think, you are all ready smarter than young Josh.

As a Belichick disciple young Josh definitely has got the part down about being a pompous ass. I will never forget Bill running Bernie Kosar out of town in Cleveland. Cutting him mid season while Vinny Testraverde was hurt, Bill had to start a third string QB…just to show who was boss. All the Belichick coaching tree has given us is a lot of duds and losses (Sabian, Weiss, Crennel.) I guess when you don’t have Tom Brady and you can’t cheat any more… it gets a little tough!

Another smell test, will the Broncos be better this year without Jay Cutler ?

One last rant!! The Tampa Bay Bucs hire a guy because he listens to the same music as the players? WTF?! The Bucs folded last year because the defense gave up when they heard their beloved coach was going to join his son in Tennessee. So you promote one of the defensive coaches who couldn’t talk his guys into tackling anyone wearing a Raiders F&*ing uniform!!Gruden was sunk when he went to a team that gave up 2 #1 picks and 2nd Rd picks to get him, and don’t forget the 2 #1′s to get Keyshawn. That’s 6 very important picks and the future of your team. He actually should get credit for being competitive with Jeff Garcia, Chris Simms, and for making Antonio Bryant million$$.
THIS GUY WON A SUPER BOWL WITH BRAD JOHNSON AND KEENAN MCCARDELL.

And for the best news I’ve heard in weeks…..bacon flavored chap stick !!!!

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Posted by Porkboy46    Date: Wednesday, April 1, 2009

Categories: NFL, Porkboy

Tags: , , ,

The Bacon Explosion Effect

To my wife, her girlfriends, and my mom… it’s best for you all to skip this post and wait for the next one. Trust me.

The first time I laid eyes on the “bacon explosion” I’ll admit that I was impressed, intimidated, and intrigued. It looked disgusting, but I had to try it, if not for anything else than to say that I did. My partners at work and I decided we were going to try and tackle this monster, and we put “Texas Mike” in charge of the cooking.

After reviewing the recipe for the explosion, “TM” thought it should have some chopped up jalapenos added to the mixture. Being from Texas he enjoys the heat, and felt the jalapenos would “kick it up a notch.” OK, I’m in.

TM arrived to work on Monday morning carrying what appeared to be a 6 inch sub in aluminum foil. This mass of pig goes into your smoker or oven the size of a football, but comes out much smaller. Don’t be worried, there will be plenty for everyone! TM thought we should cut up the roll and have BLT sandwiches for lunch. No way, bacon and sausage are breakfast foods, cut me off a slice beeeaaatttcchhhh.

The first bite was heaven. The combination of the salty bacon and sausage with the sweetness of the BBQ sauce and the spiciness of the jalapenos formed an explosion of culinary heaven in my mouth. I proceeded to eat 3 slices for breakfast. Others who tried it in the AM were not as high on it as I was. The reviews were anywhere from disgusting to just OK. Others were waiting till later in the day to try it. At this point, other than a normal morning cincinnati traffic jam, I’m doing well.

At 1pm it was time for lunch. The office wanted Taco Bell and I jumped on board with an order of 2 crispy tacos. A small order for sure from Taco Bell, but I wasn’t real hungry, and besides that, I had big plans for my taco. Yep, on my 2 tacos I had 2 slices of bacon explosion and fire sauce! No one else dared to try this, in fact no one else is even trying the bacon explosion at all. But my creation was awesome, and there’s some bacon explosion left for the ultimate BLT for dinner!

Here is where the story takes a turn. I wish I could tell you that I fought the good fight, and the BLT’s were awesome, but I never made it. By dinner time I was sweating, shivering, had a terrible headache, and my boxer briefs were in the trash. The next 12-24 hours were rough to say the least. It would have been a good day to visit the doctor for a physical. The blood, urine, and stool sample would have been easy, I could have just handed over my underwear!

With all that being said, never again for me and the explosion. However, if your a “man’s man,” you’ve got to try this thing once! Just don’t make any big plans for the following day.

Cheers and Hail

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Posted by fatpickle    Date: Friday, February 13, 2009

Categories: Fatpickled

Tags: ,

The Bacon Explosion Effect

To my wife, her girlfriends, and my mom… it’s best for you all to skip this post and wait for the next one. Trust me.

The first time I laid eyes on the “bacon explosion” I’ll admit that I was impressed, intimidated, and intrigued. It looked disgusting, but I had to try it, if not for anything else than to say that I did. My partners at work and I decided we were going to try and tackle this monster, and we put “Texas Mike” in charge of the cooking.
After reviewing the recipe for the explosion, “TM” thought it should have some chopped up jalapenos added to the mixture. Being from Texas he enjoys the heat, and felt the jalapenos would “kick it up a notch.” OK, I’m in.
TM arrived to work on Monday morning carrying what appeared to be a 6 inch sub in aluminum foil. This mass of pig goes into your smoker or oven the size of a football, but comes out much smaller. Don’t be worried, there will be plenty for everyone! TM thought we should cut up the roll and have BLT sandwiches for lunch. No way, bacon and sausage are breakfast foods, cut me off a slice beeeaaatttcchhhh.
The first bite was heaven. The combination of the salty bacon and sausage with the sweetness of the BBQ sauce and the spiciness of the jalapenos formed an explosion of culinary heaven in my mouth. I proceeded to eat 3 slices for breakfast. Others who tried it in the AM were not as high on it as I was. The reviews were anywhere from disgusting to just OK. Others were waiting till later in the day to try it. At this point, other than a normal morning cincinnati traffic jam, I’m doing well.
At 1pm it was time for lunch. The office wanted Taco Bell and I jumped on board with an order of 2 crispy tacos. A small order for sure from Taco Bell, but I wasn’t real hungry, and besides that, I had big plans for my taco. Yep, on my 2 tacos I had 2 slices of bacon explosion and fire sauce! No one else dared to try this, in fact no one else is even trying the bacon explosion at all. But my creation was awesome, and there’s some bacon explosion left for the ultimate BLT for dinner!
Here is where the story takes a turn. I wish I could tell you that I fought the good fight, and the BLT’s were awesome, but I never made it. By dinner time I was sweating, shivering, had a terrible headache, and my boxer briefs were in the trash. The next 12-24 hours were rough to say the least. It would have been a good day to visit the doctor for a physical. The blood, urine, and stool sample would have been easy, I could have just handed over my underwear!

With all that being said, never again for me and the explosion. However, if your a “man’s man,” you’ve got to try this thing once! Just don’t make any big plans for the next day.

Cheers and Hail

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Posted by fatpickle    Date: Friday, February 13, 2009

Categories: Fatpickled

Tags: ,

Fat Boy On A Diet…Don’t Even Try It

I can hear myself getting fatter.

If you’re like me, football season brings great excitement, lots of trash talking, a few tears, and a couple extra lb’s. Yes, a football game goes hand in hand with chicken wings, pizza, crock pots, and beers (it’s just not the same without them.) And if you’re like me, you promise to start a diet as soon as the season is over. Well, I’ve finally found a reason to watch the Pro Bowl, one more super-bad blowout meal!

Before I start a diet I always need to have the perfect day of eating and drinking the day before. And this my friends, is a fine line. Sometimes I eat too much, taking away from my drinking. Sometimes I drink too much, and forget too eat enough. We’re dealing with some serious shit here! So I have to repeat the same patterns day after day until I find some even ground.

Super Bowl Sunday should have been the day to end my Chris Farley like bender. Chili was the meal of the day so I went to the grocery store to gather my items. But, rib eyes were on sale at a price I could not pass up. So what did I have on my chili? Hot sauce, crackers, and STEAK!

So I’m thinking that if I cook these 2 meals that I found Super Bowl week, the meal will be so bad that it’s either going to kill me, or force me to diet no matter what. Ladies and gentlemen, your Pro Bowl menu.

(I’m pretty sure the bacon isn’t the only thing exploding!)

Twinkie Stadium

Keep me in your thoughts.

Cheers and Hail

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Posted by fatpickle    Date: Wednesday, February 4, 2009

Categories: Fatpickled

Tags: , ,