Posts Tagged ‘autographs’

Old Redskins Park Autographs Pt. 1

You’ve heard stories of my days spent at the old Redskins Park collecting autographs and memories. I thought I would start posting some of the collectibles I acquired during that time. Here’s a look at some of the football cards I had signed back in the 80′s. Next week I’ll post my 8×10 black & whites, which are my favorite items.

87 Topps Wilber Marshall. Wilber had a very unique way of signing; he’s left-handed and signs his name upside down and from right to left. Wilber was a bad ass!

1984 Topps Dexter Manley. There are many reasons to love this card, the mohawk is definitely one of them and the fact that Dexter even signed it “Mr. D” for me. Alas, this card and a few other autographs I obtained that day were F’d up by a faulty marker. Son of a…

1983 Topps Dexter Manley. Dexter was always super-cool and never at a loss for words…he was also so full of energy. The back of this card says that Dexter served as a Deputy Sheriff in Virginia…really?

1986 Topps Jim Lachey. Don’t remember a whole lot about the interactions with Jim other than he was quiet and polite. Thank you Bobby Beathard for the Jay Schroeder for Lachey swap.

1988 Topps Kelvin Bryant. Kelvin was one my favorite players during the 80′s. He was a great all-around back and had a 13 catch 130 yard 2 TD day against the Giants in 86′, it says so on the back of the card!

1984 Topps Joe Jacoby. Jake’s always been good to me, I’m hoping he’s the next Redskin in the Hall of Fame. All he did was block Lawrence Taylor, Reggie White and Too Tall Jones for a decade…and did it well.

1984 Topps Darrell Green. This is Darrell’s rookie card and is probably the only one in the group that’s worth much $$. Doesn’t matter, I wouldn’t sell any of these for any price…well I’d cut Bostic loose.

1979 Topps Doug Williams. This is also a rookie card and it’s mint. Doug also signed his SI Super Bowl cover for me, “To Doug, From Doug.” Unfortunately, it was with the same sucky marker Dexter used to sign “Mr. D.” Son of a…

1987 Topps Charles Mann. Charles was always super nice and cool. The faulty marker makes another appearance. Son of a…

1988 Topps Earnest Byner. Earnest was the consummate professional as a player and didn’t get the respect he deserved as a coach. Thanks Bobby Beathard for Mike Olpihant for Earnest Byner.

1982 Topps Dave Butz. Anyone remember the “Big Bad Butz” song made for Dave Butz? I need to find that, help me. I googled big bad butz and nothing but porn sites comes up. Per the back of Dave’s card “he performs week-in and week-out, playing often with injuries, and continues to get the job done in fine fashion.” I agree Topps, I agree.

1984 Topps Jeff Bostic. Jeff Bostic was not cool, he was not nice…it says so on the back of his card.

Cheers and Hail

May I Have Your Autograph Mr. Clark?

I spent a lot of time as a kid at the old Redskins Park. It was quite different back then, the old park had virtually no security and was small in comparison to the current RP in Ashburn. I was able to parlay my time at Redskins Park into many memorable moments and adventures. I filmed part of a practice and filmed a semi-interview with Dexter Manley. I tossed a nerf football around with Rickey Sanders and Mark Rypein. I also helped a coke delivery man deliver cokes into the locker room, where I proceeded to watch highlights of the 87’ Super Bowl with Reggie Branch and Ravin Caldwell. Great times for a 13 yr old kid.

I was also able to obtain many autographs, autographs from virtually every great player from the 80’s. Gary Clark was recently called out by Larry Johnson for not giving an autograph to LJ when LJ was a little kid. LJ turned that experience into a positive one and now signs every autograph he’s asked for, until the last fan is finished. If that is true, then I admire him for doing so. Quite frankly, I can’t imagine how any reasonable fan would expect an athlete to sign for everyone, every time. I also can’t imagine how fans can ask an athlete to sign an autograph while the athlete is eating dinner, or engaged in something else that requires the athletes attention. Regardless, I want to tell you about my Gary Clark experience.

I was visiting Redskins Park in January of 1988, the last day before the Redskins headed off to San Diego to completely destroy the Broncos 42-10. I arrived early that day and was the only person in the lobby when Gary Clark walked right by me at a brisk pace, headed upstairs to where the admin offices were located. I quickly asked Gary if he would sign an autograph for me, he informed me that he was in a hurry and could not sign for me. Even at 13 years old, I remember this being a WTF moment? I’m the only person in this lobby and he’s not going to take 30 seconds to sign for me? He spent more time explaining why he couldn’t sign than it actually would have taken to sign. I was bummed.

A few hours later Redskins Park was a madhouse. Hundreds of fans had congregated at the park to see the Super Bowl Champions off. The lobby was now shoulder to shoulder and I was now a small fish in a big pond. Players were sneaking out the side and back to avoid the rush of fans. I was now sitting on the stairs leading up to the 2nd floor admin offices. I had managed to get a few autographs before the larger adults had squeezed me out of my prime location by the locker room door and forced me over to the stairs. My autograph collecting opportunities had taken a serious hit at this point.

As I was sitting on the stairs watching all the mayhem, I heard a psst, psst noise coming from the 2nd floor above my head. As I turned and looked up I was amazed to see Gary Clark waving me up the stairs. I collected my things and bounded up the stairs to meet Gary and who else should be sitting up on the 2nd floor…Sam Huff and Sonny Jurgensen, who was enjoying a large cigar. Gary happily signed for me and even promised to catch a TD for me in the Super Bowl (he did.) As an added bonus I was able to also secure the autographs of 2 Hall of Famers.

Maybe Gary felt bad about the encounter we had earlier and decided to sign for me, maybe he really was busy and couldn’t sign for me at the earlier time. It really doesn’t matter, he came thru for me big time and I’ll never forget it. On a separate and totally unrelated note, I ran into Gary at Camelot in DC in the late 90’s. He was sitting alone at a table with a bible. What does that have to do with anything? Nothing, it’s just unusual to see a man in a strip joint with a bible.

I thank Gary for that moment and all of the Redskins that I met during my childhood that were always super cool and gave me memories to last a lifetime. It’s really hard to form an opinion of someone in a single moment in time. Just because an athlete doesn’t want to, or can’t sign for everyone doesn’t mean they’re bad people. Gary Clark was cool to me…now if you want an example of a D-bag (and this is based on several meetings,) this is your guy.

Cheers and Hail

E4three32: Please Don’t

Fatpickle’s note: Please welcome E4three32 as a regular contributor to Fatpickled. E is an aspiring screen writer (his first script is badass!) and CPA. He played college basketball (an astounding accomplishment coming from my family loins,) and brings his special brand of wit and humor to us. Welcome aboard E!

I’ve never been a big fan of letting a pro athlete KNOW that I KNOW who they are by actually telling them I KNOW who they are. Unless I’m attending an autograph signing or preseason camp I have no business trying to take a picture with them or reminiscing with them about a touchdown catch or “nuts in your face” dunk they had on SportsCenter’s Top 10 List.

That is why when I saw Gilbert Arenas at Chuckie Cheese I didn’t try to join him in a game of Wack-a-Mole or combine tickets to get the biggest prize (by the way when your Gilbert Arenas you don’t waste time trying to win tickets, you just pay absurd amounts of money to get what you want.) However, as he walked by me playing a basketball arcade game I did yell out “Hibachi” as I hit my shots on a game built for three-year olds. Now I don’t know if he looked back and laughed at me or if he was actually looking right through me and laughing at someone else, but I did feel as though he appreciated me not starting an autograph frenzy by yelling out “Agent Zero” at the top of my lungs while doing back-flips begging him to autograph my chest. That is why I have come up with this list of things not to do when seeing a professional athlete in public for all of you douches out there who act like the kid who Punk’d Dirk Nowitzki on a daily basis:

If they are eating, LEAVE them alone - there’s no doubt Dwight Howard wanted to pimp slap all of these people…except the one Asian girl across from them whom he wanted to lay the Superman pipe to

If you do try to take a picture with them, make sure you know who they are – I once watched a kid take a picture with Chris Samuels only to turn around and say thanks LaVar…come on you can’t mistake #60

Don’t ask them if they want to hangout later on at night just because they accept a drink from you at a bar – every athlete knows what happened in “Celtic Pride”

Don’t ever tell them they have a hot girlfriend/wife and then ask her name – “Hey man she’s hot, what’s her name so I can spank it to her later”

Unless the appearance is for autographs and pictures, don’t even try

If an athlete makes fun on you, don’t brag about it to other people like your cool – true story, an athlete once told me I had small equipment…I told other people to explain to them that it was a black man and obviously to him I seemed smaller but in a lacrosse locker room I’d be worshipped…but I didn’t tell them because it was the Phillies first baseman

No high-fives, hugs, or chest-bumps – a handshake could be acceptable

Don’t tell them about how you tattooed their number on your asscheek one night you got hammered

Don’t strike up a conversation in the bathroom

Don’t ever be the creepy guy in the background of a picture – you look happy, but they sure as hell don’t

And above all, if you are lucky enough to get a picture with a professional athlete, never put that picture up as your profile picture on Facebook or Myspace – everyone that knows you, knows you are not friends with them and chances are YOU NEVER WILL BE

Please read this list over and try not to act like a love-struck thirteen year old next time you see a professional athlete out.

Oh yeah, and hot girls…please disregard this list and remember everything here is even more acceptable when done topless!

Until NextTime,
E4three32