I Don’t Like The Yankees So Much

If you google “reasons to hate the Yankees,” over 4.5 million results show up. I don’t have that many reasons to hate them, but as a lifelong Orioles fan…there are a few things about the Yankees that burn my ass!

#2 They win all the time:

This is a false statement. Mike Mussina pitched in New York the past 8 years, he has the same amount of World Series rings as I do. They had a dynasty from 96-2000. For the 25 years sandwiching that era…C*&K.

#3 The Fans

First of all, they all look like this guy.

Yankee fans don’t like each other, let alone any other teams fans. They invade Camden Yards when the Yanks come to Baltimore. Yelling for Deerrrricckkk Jettterrr and Mariiiiianno Riiiverra. My favorite Yankees fans? The Japanese Matsui fans that don’t speak English.
Look, you can go to almost any bar or store anywhere in America and see a Yankee hat or jersey. It’s no big deal. There may be 2 guys in said bar or store with Yankee hats and they won’t even acknowledge each other, because it’s common place. But if your wearing an O’s hat in Tampa, and another guy walks in the bar wearing the same hat…that’s a kinship. You have a bond.

#2 Jeffrey Maier

Let’s face it O’s fans, baseball is full of curses…we have the Jeffrey Maier curse. Little prick.

#1 They score hot chicks

Why wouldn’t they? They all have $100 million dollar contracts. Whether it’s Jeter banging Minka Kelly…or for that matter nearly every girl from my Sweet 16 Hot Chick contest, or A-Rod tapping Kate Hudson and Madonna (it would have been more impressive for Craig Nettles to bang out Madonna, she was hotter back then.) But wait, it doesn’t stop there, Jorge Posada (operation Dumbo drop) has a hot wife, CC Sabathia (weighs 330) is doing well for himself, and AJ Burnett’s wife is smokin! I’m sure it doesn’t stop there, hell…I bet Craig Nettles wife is still hot.

Karen Burnett (Maryland girl)

And for the record, if you google “reasons to hate the Orioles,” you only get 190,000 results. We win.

Cheers and Hail